When the self is a subject it stands in the way of what we are doing. The self as subject is defined by grasping or resisting – we want or fear a particular outcome. But when the self is a medium we are not defined by our opposition or attraction to something, rather we become intimate with our being and environment, and in tune with our generative power. Whatever we are doing becomes effortless – we become one with the activity. Turning inwards – enstasis – we become the generative power that courses through us – ecstasis.
Many years ago I found myself washing my clothes by hand in India. I lay each piece of clothing on a rock and scrubbed them with soap and water. I did not focus on the end point of having them clean, which would have caused much irritation due to the labor-intensive nature of my task. Carried by the rhythm of my activity, I felt myself merge with the sun, soap, stone and cloth. This was one of the happiest moments of my life.
In Tolstoy’s novel Anna Karena the character Levin cuts the grass of his land with a scythe. Through the rhythm of his labour, Levin feels as if he is not controlling the movement of the scythe, but is being moved by ‘some external force’. He experiences bliss.
The self as medium opens us to our joy because it allows us to experience our fundamental nature as life. We are not a ‘subject’ separate from our environment, trying to control, avoid, get something from, and so on, the ‘objects’ that we are in relation to. The self as medium opens us to our being that vibrates with the generative power that belongs to all life.